February 2012
4 posts
4 tags
I think that this has been the worst year of my life, by far. At this point, I’m only eating once a day, because it’s all I can afford to eat. Part of me is like, Hey, it’s okay, at least you’ll probably lose a couple extra pounds, but that’s my eating disorder talking and I know it. Seriously, on my lowest day, I bought a package of hotdogs (omg, kill me) and decided...
wakeupnat:
I’ll never understand how someone can be in a relationship for two to three years, break up, and then jump into another relationship a month later. I mean, damn man, you’re literally on to the next one. In my opinion, there’s something wrong with that. Something so unsettling.
I think it honestly depends on the breakup. I cared immensely for someone I was with for over two years. I...
Anonymous asked: Hey stranger! I just wanted to see how you were doing and see where you are at in life nowadays. Last time we talked you were really working hard on getting a career with your makeup and whatnot. I hope you and your family are happy and doing well and that everybody is healthy. To be honest, I am not too sure what to say because its been so long. I guess I just wanted to say Hi and see how you...
January 2012
8 posts
2 tags
3 tags
You make me sick, how you advocate more for your wife than you do for your kids. How you’d rather spend time with her than with them. How you’d rather have conversations with her than with them. How you shuffle them off to others when you can’t handle them, or when you want alone time. You make me sick how you’re working so hard to save your marriage that you don’t...
3 tags
And at once I knew I was not magnificent.
You changed something in me tonight. You broke something. With your clumsy words and those stupid hands and the fact that you’re not good enough for me because you’re not good enough to me. That was your only mistake; that you didn’t realize that the only thing you needed to do to change that was try.
Fucking coward. Running scared all the time. Running your mouth just to see...
4 tags
So, I am traveling this summer. I am going back to school in the fall, and I am going to start working from home again and possibly freelancing. I’m in high spirits, and I’m really excited for all that 2012 is bringing to the table!
6 tags
If I go back to school in the spring, then that ties up my whole summer, which means no traveling and all the money spent on transportation is wasted. But if I wait until the fall, then I’m probably going to remain unemployed for a while (not ok) unless I rebuild my kit and start freelancing again by prom season…. But if I’m freelancing again, if I can get back to where I was,...
December 2011
10 posts
4 tags
“Somebody That I Used to Know” —...
So let’s be honest..
I haven’t left my bed all day. Except to take care of my dog, or go to the bathroom, or to get more tissues for those sporadic moments where I can’t keep my cool and burst into tears. I haven’t eaten or brushed my hair or made any attempt to talk to anyone (I think that’s been rather mutual today, aside from the teen — she would probably...
3 tags
OK. I just did the Insanity Workout Fit Test, day 1 (why yes, I did decide to start it on Christmas), and basically, I want to die. I’m sweating in places I didn’t know I could sweat; I’m sweating more than I’ve ever sweat before. As a runner, this kills me a little bit, and I’m a little scared to see how I’ll handle days 2-60, but we’ll see. If I see a...
Anonymous asked: how do you think your love life has changed your general outlook on life or you as a person?
4 tags
I need to be around people that make me laugh more often. Last night was a lot of fun, but I was sad it had to end. I think it’s probably possible to have fun all the time if you really wanted to make it happen. I used to be able to mix business and pleasure. Not an easy task sometimes, but I made it work. I need to find a way back to that.
Wouldn’t it just be my luck?
To confess my feelings for someone just a little bit too late? Wouldn’t it totally make sense if I went out on a limb only to learn that I wasn’t alone in that, only to learn that someone else did it in a more timely manner?
And I’d try to be happy for ‘em. I’d have fake it like hell, but I’d try. ‘Cause they’d...
6 tags
Lettuce Eat!
Haha, corny title, I know.
Yesterday I went grocery shopping, and made the connection that I definitely buy and eat healthier when I’m by myself. Basically, I let my eating habits suffer at the hands of the kids. They have been introduced to new things over the course of the last eight months — they like curry, I make an orange sauce that they go back for thirds on (and believe me, I...
1 tag
Broken Things
The fourteen-year-old comes home from school, and everyday she passes me on the stairs and says, “I need to talk to you later!” Code for, “Something exciting/embarrassing/important to me happened at school today and I need you to pretend for ten minutes that you’re not old, and come gossip with me.” (I’m half kidding.)
I look at her sometimes, knowing that she...
Anonymous asked: Yes, it was a real question. I dont appreciate you mocking me out of it. I am currently struggling with bills and my current job does not seem to pay as much as I wish it did. But it is one of the best that I can get right now with my education. I really was asking how to somehow manage to pay off debts while still maintaining the minimum of what I do have. Such as my apartment, my car, and my...
Anonymous asked: How did you get out of debt?
November 2011
17 posts
Asshole.
To Whom It May Concern,
I don’t believe in soulmates. I don’t believe there’s someone out there for everyone, or that only one person will fit the mold. But here’s what I know:
I know that it’s a pain in the ass to get to know me. I know that I’m too guarded. I know it’s hard to talk to me. I know that I’m too quiet. Too reserved. I know that when I tell you little...
3 tags
“Lullaby” — Dark Mean
1964
I have been meaning to write you back for a week, but every time I sit down to do so, I realize I’m trying to justify my unhappiness, and that’s not okay to me. I do need to do something for me; something I enjoy, and that makes me happy.
You were right, we are at very different places in our lives. I haven’t loved yet, I haven’t even really lived yet, and I feel very...
1 tag
19
You are really cute, and you make me laugh. In another life, I’d probably think you were a total catch, but I’m really lucky to be able to call you a friend. :)
1 tag
323
You are so stinkin’ sweet to me! I appreciate when you act like my sounding board, ‘cause sometimes I really just need someone to bounce ideas off of, and someone who’s not afraid to tell me when I’m wrong or show me a better way.
Come to Washington! I think we would probably be really good friends irl, ‘cause we’re both runners — running buddies?!...
Leave a number in my ask and I'll write a post... →
I have been studying almost all day and I
still can’t retain any of this junk. Seven days. I’ve got seven days to get it all down.
I sound so pathetic, I’m sick and I’m crying and it’s just coming out as these stupid little squeaks and sobs. I hate everything in my life right now, but this? This was just the icing on the cake.
Where did this sudden bout of jealousy come from?
It’s 44-degrees out. I’m sick. But I am itching for a run that the elliptical just cannot replace. So, do I suck it up and head out for a three-miler or do I bundle up and watch Harry Potter with the kids? Decisions, decisions, haha. I’m updating my iPod at the moment, I guess I’ll decide when it’s finished.
OMG. I can’t remember my Skype password, I’m trying to reset it, but the asshole upstairs thinks it’s okay to dowload seven different programs at a time that take three days at a time. I’ve never had this much stinkin’ trouble with the internet, even with xbox live, and two computers running at the same time. Until this jerk. It shouldn’t take ten damn minutes...
3 tags
“Twice” — Little Dragon
Okay, whatever. I didn't wanna talk to you anyway!
October 2011
14 posts
3 tags
“Horizons” — Puscifer
2 tags
But You Were Just Friends
Last night we were in a room full of couples and the entire night you kept telling me to get comfortable, that it was okay to stretch my legs over yours, that I could sit closer to you. I remember thinking, at one point, when she looked at us and laughed and smiled at the way I was jokingly positioning your hand above my shoulder, that she probably has no idea the way you actually feel about me...
3 tags
UGH!
I don’t care what Deborah Bradley says or how innocent she may or may not be, it’s gotta make her feel like absolute crap to admit that she was drunk the night her baby disappeared, and to think that there’s a possibility it could have been prevented had she not been.
That really pisses me off. I definitely let the morning news set my mood for the day, but it really irritates...
I would give absolutely anything to be someone else right now.
3 tags
So today I got a friend request from someone I’m assuming is my biological grandfather (his Facebook lists my biological mother as his daughter). I don’t know if I’ve met him, and I haven’t seen my biological mother since I was seven (when I was adopted), and it feels a little bit unreal.
See, I never really thought I wanted a relationship with my biological mother. I...
3 tags
“Sail” — AWOLNATION
I don’t know how to make this work between us. I just don’t.
This morning I woke up at 5AM to make my littles french toast, sausage and scrambled eggs. Now, time to get ready for a day date with my mom! AKA, we go through with our morning plans and then I go over to her house to get some real, uninterrupted, peaceful, beautiful sleep, haha. This whole broken-sleep-cycle, running-on-three-hours of sleep-thing has it’s limits, and I’m about to...
So, you miss him, and you’re not exactly sure why, but there’s a possibility that it’s only ‘cause it’s 1AM and 1AM always means reflecting on the things and the people you don’t have. Or maybe it’s ‘cause you haven’t laughed in a long time and that’s always something he was alarmingly good at — making you laugh. Perhaps it’s...